Irony

this is just an illustration the irony of life here in IITK. Perhaps, just the irony of life..........It concerns the condolence meeting held to commemorate the death of the son of a contract labourer on the campus, supposedly due to negligence by the Health Centre(HC) three days before the first Mid-Semester examinations

I am sitting in the library, trying to make some sense out of the things floating in my notebook. The dull monotone of the fountain is disturbed by the erratic pitter-patter of raindrops falling outside. It is so soporific, it lulls me to sleep.

The rain is still falling outside, is the first thought that registers in my groggy head as I slowly wake up. My neck hurts due to the thickness of my book pillow. I stare into blank space for a moment, but as my eyes converge on the dial of my watch, I recall that a condolence meeting was supposed to be held in the SAC in the evening. My eyes sweep over the desk covered with notes and books. A lot goes through my mind in the following second: studies, thoughts, promises, convictions, illusions, pretenses…. The decision is not taken lightly, but I proceed to the SAC. I’d spend about 30 minutes there, is what I think.

As the raindrops are still falling outside, everyone slowly congregates in the small covered area in the SAC. I stand a little apart, scrutinizing every face as they slowly come in and take their places. Many are unsure of how to act, Should I be somber? Do I greet him with a wave or a shrug? Is it too cheerful to smile? Do I frown, or do I look into the distance? People as usual form small groups among themselves, there are two topics of conversations, the one at hand, and the one at the back of everyone’s mind.

As we hold the two minutes silence in mourning, I try to fathom the reason behind a face being there. Does it feel pain? Is it sad? Is it socially responsible? Is it here for a break? Is it here to accompany a friend? Or is it plain hypocritical, here to show off??

Some faces have names, some have associations, and others are complete strangers. Then the realization dawns that the reason for the paucity of familiarity is due to the absence of people. Maybe it’s the raindrops falling outside, definitely the midsems, but the present situation is exactly how I had pictured this thing in my mind.

A kind of discussion is started which leads me to think only one thing, Why am I there?? I had no particular objective in coming there. I had ambivalent feelings about the issue. As the discussion progresses along some very predictable lines, my mind wanders further. Not surprisingly, it remembers the things still left to be studied. The group also struck with a feeling of urgency, is now slowly building up in energy. With action imminent, reason takes a backseat. After twenty minutes of discussion (useful or not, I will not say) a plan of action of formed. It is decided that everyone would go to the HC, and enquire about I don’t know what. Even now, some people are very enthusiastic about finally doing something about the thing at hand, some are cautious about whether this is the best course of action to take. Some have already started walking; some are urging people to follow.

Is it of any use, I ask myself? I sure would like to find out. However, I remember my books spread on the desk in the corner of the third floor of the library. As people start moving towards the HC, I walk the opposite way. Soon, I am seated on my desk, staring through my notes again.

Still, the raindrops were falling outside.

random thoughts

a point to point,
deviation from point.
A pointless point
to prove my point?
:)

WHY?

Why?

Why do you do this to me?

Nothing really,

Just some ifs and buts.

Some maybes,

A few why nots.

Some things that could have been,

Things that should have been.

Answers to questions that were never answered

Questions to answers that were never asked.

Why?

Why me?

Just you,

No one else.

Some inspections,

A little introspection.

Because of the shadow of your doubt,

That overshadows your soul.

Filling the void inside of you,

The hollow that fills you up inside.

Why?

Why now?

No Reason.

None at all

My whims

Your fancies

Perhaps your heartstrings struck a chord.

Resonating with the discordant noise of the clock.

Strike while the iron is hot!

Isn’t that what is said?

Why?

Why You?

You

And me

The alter ego

The conscience

I am the thorn in your heart,

I am the mirror you once cracked.

I am the reason why you ask,

WHY?

The Green-Eyed Monster

This is my first poem, hope u like it


I opened my eyes to see,
The fence, standing tall and proud.
Beyond it I beheld, the amazing sight
The grass was greener on the other side.

Lush it stood, in all it’s glory,
It’s green shining in my eye,
I longed to jump over the fence, to touch to feel
As, the grass was greener on the other side.

I stare at the ground beneath my feet,
my Eden, the garden of my dreams
It’s wholesomeness suddenly stricken
Just cos, the grass was greener on the other side.

I tried to reason, that it would change with seasons.
Summers and spring, winter and fall
All passed, no luck at all,
Still, the grass was greener on the other side.

I ploughed, sowed & toiled in every way.
To make my land as green as there.
But, it was all in vain, to no avail,
Cos, the grass was greener on the other side.

To stop from heeding Lucifer’s call, conjure a fence ten feet tall.
Insurmountable, solid as rock.
To hide the damning sight.
The grass was greener on the other side.

The green of the land haunted me, possessing me.
Flowing softly in the weightless breeze.
It entices me, forever eludes me.
The greener grass on the other side.

I wrecked it, wrecked them both with a wrecking ball.
Then, set ablaze like a ball of fire.
Fire to ashes, it turned to dust before my eyes.
Finally, the grass was greener on the other side….

.....no more.

A PÆAN.

[poems by Edgar A. Poe, 1831]

How shall the burial rite be read?
The solemn song be sung?
The requiem for the loveliest dead,
That ever died so young?

Her friends are gazing on her,
And on her gaudy bier,
And weep!--oh! to dishonor
Dead beauty with a tear!

They loved her for her wealth--
And they hated her for her pride--
But she grew in feeble health,
And they love her--that she died.

They tell me (while they speak
Of her "costly broider'd pall")
That my voice is growing weak--
That I should not sing at all--

Or that my tone should be
Tun'd to such solemn song
So mournfully--so mournfully,
That the dead may feel no wrong.

But she is gone above,
With young Hope at her side,
And I am drunk with love
Of the dead, who is my bride--

Of the dead--dead who lies
All perfum'd there,
With the death upon her eyes.
And the life upon her hair.

Thus on the coffin loud and long
I strike--the murmur sent
Through the gray chambers to my song,
Shall be the accompaniment.

Thou diedst in thy life's June--
But thou didst not die too fair:
Thou didst not die too soon,
Nor with too calm an air.

From more than friends on earth,
Thy life and love are riven,
To join the untainted mirth
Of more than thrones in heaven.--

Therefore, to thee this night
I will no requiem raise,
But waft thee on thy flight,
With a Pæan of old days.

"". 1

“Golden slumbers kiss your eyes,

Smiles awake when you rise.

Sleep pretty, wanton,

do not cry,

And I will sing a lullaby.”

-Thomas Dekker
(English writer and Dramatist, 1570-1632)

I read the quote above, in the unlikeliest of places. It was inscribed on the roof of a JC Penney store in Huntsville, Alabama.I must admit, the excruciating hours that are spent in shopping were made a whole lot more exciting, looking in every nook and cranny of the store for different quotations, ranging from Einstein to Kennedy to Jim Morrison to Scandinavian folk lore.

Perhaps, to the store it was just another way to make people look around, because as someone said, advertising is the business of grabbing someone's attention long enough to extract money out of it. However it served another purpose of keeping me distracted enough not to do my job. The one of dragging my sister out of the store.

Though, I confess i failed in my righteous endeavour, as I ended up with a shirt costing $30. Which I had not required when I entered the shop, but while exiting was convinced it was the one miraculous thing in this world that would give me salvation.

The beginning of the (cliched) end

Unbidden stranger thou art not welcome. If thou persists be warned. What follows are the random ramblings of a person in the search of himself, of perfection, of love, and of so many more things....

Each as if it is the San Greal (thanks to dan brown) itself, the difference being, instead of the chalice, everything that Jesus touched are the holiest of holies. And be sure, I am not Percivale, perhaps more like Merlin, though with no power to foretell the future. So, he just tries to better understand his surroundings by observing and scrutinizing the past, the present and everything in between leaving nothing sacrosanct.

So, expect everything except anything of importance. I am no saint, druid or magician. Neither, am I an artist. This is just an outlet for digressions of someone just like you trying to live the illusion called LIFE.


as a precaution
Just remember not everything is a coincidence :)

Let me begin and let me end

this blog is being established after giving it a lotta thought, so here it goes...........