I am sitting in the library, trying to make some sense out of the things floating in my notebook. The dull monotone of the fountain is disturbed by the erratic pitter-patter of raindrops falling outside. It is so soporific, it lulls me to sleep.
The rain is still falling outside, is the first thought that registers in my groggy head as I slowly wake up. My neck hurts due to the thickness of my book pillow. I stare into blank space for a moment, but as my eyes converge on the dial of my watch, I recall that a condolence meeting was supposed to be held in the SAC in the evening. My eyes sweep over the desk covered with notes and books. A lot goes through my mind in the following second: studies, thoughts, promises, convictions, illusions, pretenses…. The decision is not taken lightly, but I proceed to the SAC. I’d spend about 30 minutes there, is what I think.
As the raindrops are still falling outside, everyone slowly congregates in the small covered area in the SAC. I stand a little apart, scrutinizing every face as they slowly come in and take their places. Many are unsure of how to act, Should I be somber? Do I greet him with a wave or a shrug? Is it too cheerful to smile? Do I frown, or do I look into the distance? People as usual form small groups among themselves, there are two topics of conversations, the one at hand, and the one at the back of everyone’s mind.
As we hold the two minutes silence in mourning, I try to fathom the reason behind a face being there. Does it feel pain? Is it sad? Is it socially responsible? Is it here for a break? Is it here to accompany a friend? Or is it plain hypocritical, here to show off??
Some faces have names, some have associations, and others are complete strangers. Then the realization dawns that the reason for the paucity of familiarity is due to the absence of people. Maybe it’s the raindrops falling outside, definitely the midsems, but the present situation is exactly how I had pictured this thing in my mind.
Is it of any use, I ask myself? I sure would like to find out. However, I remember my books spread on the desk in the corner of the third floor of the library. As people start moving towards the HC, I walk the opposite way. Soon, I am seated on my desk, staring through my notes again.
2 comments:
When action is imminent, reason takes a backseat.
We always listen to all this stuff as to "be yourself", "don't try to steal neone else's identity" and the like.
What should I do if I feel like smiling in such kind of grave situation.
Should I or should I not?
Should I do what I feel like doin or shd I monitor my actions the way people around me want it to be done?
I guess there's still a thin line that exists in being "oneself" and being "foolish".
The common man still doesn't figure out whether he should do what he is supposed to do, or what interests him, or what is right?
After all, when action is imminent, reason takes a backseat...
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